A Life That Holds Together

Kait pursued business and marketing with drive, but exhaustion exposed a fragmented way of living. Friendship, Rome, and the Camino helped her rediscover a life in which work, faith, relationships, and rest could belong together. 

I think our young people are much more insightful than we tend to give them credit for. 

That’s what I was thinking when I heard Kait’s story. You’ve heard this kind of tale before: Kait was your typical high school kid—drawn into the party lifestyle, making the sorts of decisions that come with that—but she eventually found herself unhappy, and looking for something different. Something more. 

So she gave her Catholic faith a shot. She got more and more into it her senior year of high school. Youth groups, regular Mass, a bit of prayer, all of that. 

But still she was searching. Even when she was doing everything “right,” her heart was still hungry for something more. 

Do you know that feeling? 

I think Kait was onto something. It’s one thing for a life of faith to become more important. 

But it’s another thing entirely for it to become one’s whole life. It’s one thing for a life to be tweaked, adjusted, and slightly improved. And it’s another thing entirely for a life to be changed, fundamentally. But eventually Kait’s life did change fundamentally. And her search for something more was satisfied only by a life of faith that she has discovered to be her everything. Her story is filled with wisdom that I think was meant to be shared. Can I tell you about her? Kait started at the University of Mary fresh off her decision to really start taking her faith seriously. Her parents had intervened when she’d been making the poor decisions that had marked many of her high school years, and they’d intervened with clarity and care: they invited her to pursue something better for her life and future, something worthier of her. school, with a bustling campus and endless activities. But she knew that if she really wanted things to shift in her life, she would need an environment that supported that shift. Eventually the University of Mary rose to the top of her list — another surprise. We were far away from her home in North Carolina, and moving halfway across the country wasn’t at all part of Kait’s plan. But she was just so encouraged to find out that not only were we “actually” Catholic, according to one of Kait’s friends; we were also surprisingly affordable. So Kait applied. And she committed to coming without ever setting foot on our campus. So her orientation weekend ended up being the first time she set foot here, and leading up to the visit, Kait started asking for the Blessed Virgin Mary’s intercession. 

Immediately upon her arrival, it was clear her prayer had been heard: there were little signs all around that she was in good hands — a Bible verse she cherished was the theme of a regular Christian fellowship event we hold on campus; our weekly praise and worship event was the same night it had been at a camp Kait had worked at all summer. Small things, but things that seemed to be there specifically for her. “I knew I was where I was supposed to be, ” Kait said. When Kait arrived to begin her freshman year in earnest, she was off to the races immediately. “I wanted to do everything, ” she said, laughing. “Bible studies, holy hours, events — sign me up for all of it. ” Her energy was genuine, but eventually it came to carry a hidden cost. By the time Kait’s sophomore year began, she found herself exhausted. 

"Faith, work, and friendship were never meant to compete."

Trying to do everything had become overwhelming, and the balance she had hoped for between faith, friendships, work, and school felt impossible. “I was trying to live my life in these separate compartments, ” she explained. “School in one place, work in another, prayer somewhere else. It felt like a bunch of cubbies. And everything was organized in theory — this cubby is for school, this one for work, this one for faith. But eventually everything was overflowing, and the whole thing became a mess. ” That fall semester was especially difficult. Her friendships were shifting, too, in ways she hadn’t expected, and she suddenly found herself feeling very alone, and a bit hurt. So Kait took on demanding classes, extra commitments, and long hours of service — hoping that if she just kept going, the loneliness would fade. It didn’t. 

And the strategy left Kait burned out. So in the middle of that difficult semester, Kait considered calling it quits altogether. She thought about moving back home, away from the University of Mary. But she was holding on to one last opportunity: a semester abroad in Rome that spring. It was about to be the thing that changed everything. A s her semester in Rome approached, Kait was excited, but nervous. There were going to be 35 students living in close quarters together, most of whom Kait didn’t know, and she just wasn’t sure how it was going to go — would there be drama? Would Kait find easy friendships with the other students? What surprised (and delighted) her, right off the bat, was how welcoming the group turned out to be. Everyone, she says, was looking to make space for her. Everyone was looking to make her a part of their lives and friendships. After a difficult year, “The experience was healing, ” Kait said. 

And then there were the classes. A humanities-based curriculum, Kait was taking everything from philosophy to art history, and she was stunned by how important and applicable she was finding all of it to be, even for her marketing major. She began to see how important a faith-based framework is for informing ethical leadership and ideas about the dignity of work. “Business people shape the world in a lot of ways, ” she said, thoughtfully, “If faith isn’t at the center, it’s easy to forget the dignity of the person. ” These kinds of realizations opened new possibilities for Kate. She began to see that life wasn’t meant to be cast into compartments, where faith is over here and career plans over there and friendships somewhere else. Everything was meant to be part of the road to holiness. 

These thoughts were starting to brew in Kait’s mind and heart when, one day, she found herself in the middle of a conversation with one of the priest-chaplains who minister to our students on the Rome campus. Kait was talking about her life, her experience in Rome, and one particular struggle that was still haunting her. “I don’t pray very well, ” she told her chaplain, thinking he would offer some practical advice. How he responded completely surprised her. “He told me that sentence doesn’t make sense, ” Kait said, laughing. “Prayer isn’t a skill — it’s a relationship. One you’re made for. ” The comment brought Kait up short, and it entirely changed her prayer life. Suddenly she stopped trying to pray “correctly. ” And instead she just started talking to Jesus. 

Shortly thereafter she found herself on a short pilgrimage with some fellow classmates, along the Camino de Santiago For Kait, business leadership isn’t separate from her faith anymore. Rather, she understands how integration of her faith in business provides a way to shape the world. Her success at the Collegiate DECA competition reflects a commitment to excellence and virtuous leadership. in Spain. They left behind their social media for a few days, limiting even the time they chatted with one another. They wanted to give their pilgrimage to the Lord, primarily. “ At first, ” Kait said, “My mind was racing in the silence. I was thinking about everything on my to-do list. ” But gradually the silence became peaceful. “Eventually I just learned to be there. And I realized how much the Lord speaks in the silence. ” Slowly but surely, in the midst of these conversations with Jesus, life in Rome began to seem not so much like those overwhelmed and overwhelming cubbies. It started to feel more like a different image, to Kait: “It was more like a stream, ” she said. The different parts of life still existed — work, school, prayer, friendship — but they ran together toward a common destination: a life lived in relationship. 

A life lived in love — love for God, and love for others. “That changed everything for me, ” Kait says. “Instead of stressing about making all the ‘right’ decisions, I realized that if I’m striving for holiness, if I’m living in relationship, God will lead me where I’m supposed to be. ” Today, where Kait’s supposed to be is back on our main campus, where she’s learning to incorporate everything she learned from her Rome semester. She’s taking classes, investing in her friends, and serving through an internship with a Catholic company where she continues to explore the integration of faith and work. But in all of it, she has a renewed sense of purpose: to truly belong to the Lord, which is what her aching high school heart had been so longing for. And, along the way, to invite others to do the same. 

“I want people to feel received,” she said. “Everyone deserves to feel wanted.” 

Every moment, whether it’s academic, social, or spiritual, is part of the same beautiful road to holiness. 

Continue exploring: Discover more stories of lives shaped by faith, learning, and service at www.umary.edu/about/student-stories.