Known as a Daughter

Regina arrived with ambition and a gift for marketing and media. Adoration, friendship, and study in Rome helped her receive a deeper identity—as a beloved daughter—and redirect her talents toward service. 

A couple of years ago, something happened on our campus. It was almost hidden—you wouldn’t have known to look for it. 

A young student named Regina walked into our Perpetual Adoration chapel. 

Even if you had been standing on our campus watching, you wouldn’t have thought this was so unusual. You would have seen students slipping in and out of that chapel all afternoon. 

But there is a secret history of the world that is the real history of the world. A history that plays out in places like Bethlehem, in the quiet darkness of a back stable, where a small, seemingly ordinary baby is born to a young, seemingly ordinary girl. 

A history that plays out also in places like Bismarck, North Dakota, on an apparently ordinary afternoon, in the midst of an apparently ordinary student body, walking in and out of an apparently ordinary chapel. I received a little reminder of that the other day, hearing Regina’s story. Hearing about this moment in Adoration, and those that cascaded from it, that I, too, wouldn’t have known to look for. It’s a story filled with all the treasures of grace. A story that I hope could remind you, like it did for me, what the love of God, reaching so far into the life of all of us, really means for you and me. Let me tell you about Regina. Let me share with you what happened for her here. L ike so many of our students, Regina was a cradle Catholic. She grew up in a faithfully Catholic home, with parents who were exemplars of the Faith. she knew that she loved being creative, and so after chatting with her parents and friends, she thought that a degree like marketing could give her a way to join the practical with her creative interest. So she arrived to our campus her freshman year in a bit of a muddle – fresh off a change in career plans; unsure exactly why she was here, since part of her decision in the first place had depended on our history program; and unsure, too, whether she even wanted to be here. But in the background, without her knowing it, God had wheels turning... A s she dove into her freshman year, Regina was pretty decided: when it came to her faith, she'd just do the bare minimum. Sunday Mass, occasional Confession, but no personal prayer life, by any means. But then one Friday afternoon in October, Regina found herself bored. 

She’d finished her homework. Her friends were busy. And, oddly, she didn’t have anything to do. But all through her teenage years, Regina had a kind of grating relationship with all of this. She wasn’t bitter towards the faith – nothing like that. She did think the Catholic Faith was true. But practicing it was kind of an inconvenient tack-on to her life. Y es, she wanted to be in the right when it came to theological, philosophical, and moral ideas; but when her mom encouraged her to go to Adoration, for example, Regina was uninterested. Nonetheless, when it came time to choose a college, Regina knew she wanted to go somewhere faithfully Catholic. She was planning at that time to study history education, and she knew that some institutions’ programs could skew historical narratives in ways she didn’t want her mind to be formed in. 

So, she pulled up the Newman Guide and found us. We weren’t at the top of her list, at first – she was pulled toward something more prestigious, more exalted. But after determining that we were the most financially feasible, still faithful option on her list, she decided she’d come. That summer, though, Regina started having second thoughts about her choice of major. She started cooling off toward the idea of teaching history, and without that career in mind, she was reticent to jump into a history major. But During her time at the University of Mary, Regina has learned to slow down and truly appreciate the beauty of authentic friendship. Through shared joys and sufferings with her friends, she’s come to see how the meaningful relationships she’s cultivated can reflect joy, trust, and the goodness of life. 

Regina has always made it a priority to stay actively involved in campus life at the University of Mary, embracing every opportunity to grow in friendship and community. One of her favorite traditions has been participating in MAC Quiz Bowl with a close-knit group of friends since freshman year. After years of teamwork and laughter, their dedication paid off when they clinched first place this past September! 

Suddenly, a strange thought popped into her mind: “Maybe I’ll just head over to Adoration... ” So Regina did. The chapel’s open 24/7, so she knew it could at least fill up a bit of her afternoon. But even as she headed over, Regina knew something was different. Of course, she had been to Adoration lots of times before. But for the first time ever, she was deciding to go. She wasn’t forced to go. She wasn’t going because her mom told her to. She was going because she wanted to. What happened when she stepped into that chapel may not seem earth-shattering. Regina knelt down, and she simply shared with Jesus what was on her mind. And then, in a way she had never meant so sincerely before, she told Him that she loved Him. When she walked out, though, Regina had a new peace in her heart, one she’d never encountered until then. 

“In Rome, Regina found the identity no achievement could earn.” 

And then an even stranger thought popped into her mind: “I have to change my life. ” From there, Regina started going to daily Masses with her friends on occasion and praying more regularly a few devotions from a Catholic planner she’d gotten. But what her experience at the chapel really meant didn’t become fully clear until one day, a couple of months later, when she encountered the life of Michelle Duppong. Michelle, as you probably know, is a native North Dakotan whose cause for canonization is currently underway. And, to Regina’s surprise, Michelle's birthday is on the same day as Regina’s. 

On their shared birthday, the University of Mary was screening a debut of Radiating Joy, the astonishing documentary that tells the story of Michelle's life, and so, with a birthday celebration already happening for Michelle, anyway, Regina thought she’d go along. What she encountered in the documentary moved her to tears. “Michelle, ” she thought, “gave her entire life to the service of Christ, and she wasn’t afraid of that. That’s what she let decide everything. And here I am getting a marketing degree because it’s fun, and I can make money later... “But maybe, ” she thought, “what happened in prayer” – what happened that day in Adoration, and in lots of days since – “maybe that’s supposed to decide everything. ” But of course, the Lord always wants to go deeper. 

Regina took that moment to reorient the way she was thinking about her major and career plans – she decided that she didn’t want to go into marketing just for the fun of it, anymore, but to really use her skills in that area to serve the Church, to bring the faith to people where they are, especially on the internet and in social media. But all of that was to mean something even more. Regina was signed up to study in Rome the following fall semester, and so at the start of her sophomore year, she packed up her bags and headed across the Atlantic. And she almost immediately came face to face with weaknesses and limitations that she’d never encountered before. “I’d always counted on being the smartest, funniest, or most boisterous person in the room, ” Regina said, “ And that’s why I thought people liked me. 

But in Rome, there were so many talented and amazing people there, that suddenly I was almost never the smartest or most charismatic person there. ” Meanwhile, it was also a tough adjustment – Regina’s journey here at Mary has deepened not only her appreciation for beauty in the natural world, but also for the rich artistic tradition of the Catholic faith. While studying abroad in Rome, she took part in the Art of Italy course. It was an experience that brought her face-to-face with masterpieces and sacred spaces that have shaped centuries of culture. 

Regina was taking humanities classes, which were difficult after a full year of business and marketing courses. And the time spent traveling and planning trips and trying to make the most out of her time there wasn’t taking the edge off her stress, either. One day, talking to her roommate, Regina just broke down. Her roommate looked at her, with so much love in her eyes: “Regina, ” she said, “that’s not why we’re here: to get straight As. There’s so much more that’s meant for us here. ” “I’d never been that vulnerable before, ” Regina said, “and I’ve never received such total acceptance. I realized I don’t have to keep up this façade of always being perfect and smart and funny and joyful to be liked. ” It was a prompting that pushed Regina back to the chapel. And what she experienced from her friends, she was met with ten-fold in Christ. 

“I suddenly found myself laughing at myself, ” she said, “and thanking God for allowing me to become so small and little. Because I understood that I’m worthy of love not because of my gifts and talents... “I’m worthy, ” she realized, “because I’m His daughter. ” Regina’s now back in Bismarck, studying her marketing textbooks and serving on our University Ministry team. She works especially on the media and photography side of things. She’s doing lots of the same things she’d done before heading to Rome, but now she knows why: not to get chosen, but because she already was chosen, and that’s decided everything – Jesus’s delight and care for her, whatever her littleness. 

Friends, in these weeks we remember that astonishing story of the Word made flesh: of our glorious and infinite God coming to us, almost hidden, as a little baby; of His choice to depend upon the faith and wonder of a young girl, whom no one in the world knew to expect great things from. Of His choosing someone weak and poor, who let herself be loved like nobody else. Our students may not know it, but it’s the same story that’s being told over and over again in their lives, too: of the Word made flesh in their hearts, too, in the quiet of an out-of-the-way chapel, almost hidden. Of His cherishing their gifts and talents as well as their weaknesses and limitations. Of His love becoming the whole point and mission of their lives, start to finish. 

Continue exploring: Discover more stories of lives shaped by faith, learning, and service at www.umary.edu/about/student-stories.